I’ve got’cha right where I want’cha!
Blog…. oh, how I’ve missed you.
Last night I was watching a surprisingly good movie… surprising for three reasons… 1) I’d never heard of it, 2) the biggest name actor in the movie was the mom from Gilmore Girls, and 3) something about the cover and the title looked “typical.” Also curious, it seemed fairly mainstream for a Sundance Film Festival flick. It’s called The Answer Man and is really quite funny/clever with a lovable cameo from the guy who played “Buster” in Arrested Development.
Anyway… the premise is this… Arlen Faber, author of the book ME & GOD, while his book is wildly successful cornering 10% of the God market, he himself is a crotchety, angry, middle-aged man still searching for meaning and cornering himself off from civilizational as much as possible in his deceased father’s downtown Philadelphia townhome. He meets Elizabeth after crawling on all fours into her chiropractic business. In trying to woo her and through a relationship painfully forged with Chris, the book store owner down the street, he begins to soften, get out of his head, reconnect with people and admit his faults…
ok, so that was a fairly awful synopsis, however… hopefully you get the picture enough to understand the context about what I really want to share from the movie.
The book store owner works out a deal with Arlen… he will take 5 of his books in exchange for every 1 answer to his questions about life. The questions and answers given really touched me. Especially the first, as it encompasses the exact question I was living in at the moment I turned the movie on… here it is…
Chris: “Why can’t I do the things I want to do. There’s so much I know I’m actually capable of and I never do them. Why is that?”
Arlen: “The trick is to realize that you’re always doing what you want to do. Always. Nobody’s making you do anything. Once you get that you see that you’re free and life is really just a series of choices. Nothing happens to you. You choose.”
This answer really made me pause and reflect… “I’m right where I want to be in this moment?” And then image of a villain in an old western played in my head saying “I’ve got’cha right where I want’cha!” Could this be true? Could I have myself right where I want myself?
Part of the reason I’ve been MIA from Blogland the last two months is that I’ve really been exploring the options of “what’s next?” in my life. Where am I going from here? What career path should I pursue? What will meet all of my needs both now and in the future? Should I be a life coach? a therapist? a writer? a documentarian? a Real Charlotte Housewife? or keep doing what I’m doing?
Often while exploring these questions I honored how good I’ve got it now… how much Freedom, Ease and Abundance I now enjoy and at the same time recognizing that I also have needs for Purpose, Meaning, Contribution, Respect, Appreciation, and Mutuality that maybe aren’t currently being met as much as I’d like. My problem, as I saw it, was stemming from the fact that I couldn’t see or imagine how to meet ALL of those needs at the same time… it seemed in order to pursue the missing ones, I might create stress or financial strain, or difficulty with scheduling and therefor inhibiting both mine and Sean’s sense of Freedom, Ease and Abundance. I simply couldn’t settle for that… I meditated, searched, and worked on it with my life coach in order to see a way to have it all… and in the meantime, I was going to do my best to sit tight and appreciate what I’ve got. So this answer… “what i’ve got is exactly what I want” was a curious suggestion to me. Could it be, that somehow, right where I am is meeting all my needs?
The entire movie reminded me so much of the Conversations with God book series, that I decided to go pull the two I have off the shelf and read them before bed. I settled on Friendship with God and flipped open to a page that seemed perfect, of course! (I love doing that and it happens to me all the time!) I read from page 104-117, and here’s a quick excerpt from the beginning of that section:
from Friendship with God (pages 104 – 107) – (God’s words are italicized)
“And has that been so bad for you?” (I heard this as a question of, is where I am right now been so bad for me? my answer was “no” and Neale Donald Walsh’s response was “no” as well, with some elaboration, which led to a question from him and the following dialog.)
So tell me, how can I learn to trust?
By not having to.
Help me here.
If I don’t want or need anything from you, do I have to trust you for anything?
I suppose not.
You are correct.
So the highest level of trust is not having to trust?
You are correct again.
But how can I get to a place of not wanting or needing anything from You?
By realizing that it’s already yours. That whatever you need is already yours. That even before you ask, I will have answered. Therefore, asking is not necessary.
Because I don’t have to ask for what I already have.
But if I already have it, why would I even think I needed it?
Because you don’t know you already have it. It is a matter of perception. (This aligns with ACIM)
Do You mean that if I perceive that I need something, I do?
You will *think* that you do.
But if I think that God will meet all my needs, then I will not “think that I do.”
That is correct. That is why faith is so powerful. if you have faith that all your needs will always be met, then technically, you have no needs at all. And this is the truth, of course, and it will become your experience, and so your faith will be “justified.” Yet all you will have done is change your perception.
What I expect is what I get?
Something like that, yes. Yet the true Master lives outside the space of expectation. He expects nothing and desires nothing more than what “shows up.”
Because he already knows he has everything. And so he happily accepts whatever part of Everything it is that shows up in any particular moment.
Wow… all my needs ARE met… just my perception is off. So as spoken about in Marianne Williamson’s book A Return to Love, the only prayer I ever need is, “God, I need a miracle,” which is a shift in perception, in essence saying, “God, please help me see this differently… help me see the Truth here.”
So let’s do it… “God, I need a miracle. Help me see the Truth in my life that all my needs for Freedom, Ease, Abundance, Purpose, Meaning, Contribution, Respect, Appreciation, Peace, Beauty, Love, Mutuality and any others I can think of ARE all met, right here in this now moment. I accept that what is now, is what is best for me now, otherwise it wouldn’t be here. I move beyond trust and into knowing that I am safe and free and encouraged to be myself. And so it is.”
To be continued…